Dating: Mixed signals

by Wise Diva

Most of us have been subjected to the mixed signals of dating. You get a green light, then you get a red one. Things get red hot, then suddenly they turn cold. What gives?!

A friend of mine is dating a guy who only kicks up his efforts when she acts as if she is not interested in him. She will ignore his calls and text messages for a few days and put him on the back burner. That is when he kicks it into high gear and pursues her more. Their most romantic dates usually occur after she decides he is out of her life.

Perhaps it is about having a challenge; maybe he is dating multiple people and wants to keep her in the mix. Do you think that mixed signals is really just a sign that someone is being played?

What do you do when the person you are seeing starts to get a little flaky and inconsistent? If you really like them, do you try to be a little patient or can mixed signals be the deal breaker?

comments

MzNewy

Mixed signals usually indicate the person is unsure of the pursuit. Thus they get put on the back burner. Why make someone a priority when you are only an option? It means they are more than likely dating someone else and want to keep you around just in case things don’t work out with the number one…

MsMarriedUp

Just to note: the behaviors that go on in dating are the same things that happen in marriages…which brings me to noticing this in my marriage. When I’m nice and sweet, he can sometimes act the complete you-know-what. But when I got the ass, then the roles reservse. Once I did ask him about this.

“Why do I have to be mean for you to be sweet?” He didn’t have an answer.

Internet Guy c(._.)o

“It means they are more than likely dating someone else and want to keep you around just in case things don’t work out with the number one…”

I agree with this. Also, it is very immature and somewhat disrespectful to treat someone that way.

I have seen the same type of behavior from women who like to keep a well-intentioned guy in the “friend zone” and string them along in order to use them (favors, pay for a dinner, more).

When someone does that, call them out on it, and prepare to move one.

It’s a sure sign of someone with a) alterior motives, b) selfish or self-centered personality, c) the wrong priorities and someone who has little concern for the feelings of others.

No thanks. Plenty of women out there who will treat a guy right. Why waste time on a woman who’s so “high school.”

I’m tired of this kind of stuff. 

DreamsMaterialize

Morning
Mixed signals could mean the other person isn’t interested, or it could mean that you’re misinterpreting the signals as mixed. Sometimes we just over-analyze things and make them way more complicated than they really are.

disco

good morning guys. glad to see I’m not the only one here today. looks like it might be slow one.

Audra

Hello!

Generally, I find that guys who are giving mixed signals are either keeping you around as their “Plan B” or are actively seeing someone else and don’t want you to know it. If a guy wants to be with you, he will. If he’s playing mind games, there’s a reason. I was letting myself be led around by a dude who was sending mixed signals for over a year. Finally I realized that I was his “Plan B.” Screw that – who wants to be second best? I’ve since given him the boot.

Mike P

Good Morning All,

I can’t speak for all men, but when I give off mixed signals: Its usually when I meet a women I’m sexually attracted to (fleeting) and only have one thing on my mind while the woman has romantic interests in me (on-going). When I’m sexually aroused and its been a minute for me, I’m on fire with her but when I’m good sexually speaking and she wants to do romantic stuff with me I started to feel crowded and annoyed (to hate me for that, can’t help it). This is especially true when I have no romantic interests in her whatsoever.

The rap lyric from Rocko comes to mind: We ain’t going steady! We jus’ mess-around!

Celisea

Good morning,

Back at work….boooo (no really…glad to have a job)

On topic: I’m not okay with mix signals and I try as much as possible to not send any. If I feel the signals are mixed or not sure the direction in which the whole thing is headed, I’m going ask…pointblank. If I cannot get a solid answer, as I admit I could be the one misunderstanding or misinterpreting, I will move on or away from the situation. I won’t dangle though until you can decide. I would think if it’s really not what’s perceived, a conversation will easily clear things up.

I think many many times people simply aren’t sure…and that’s okay. The other side of that coin is it’s not fair to have a person in limbo and you can’t have it both ways. Every person that really do send mix signals knows in their heart of heart they’re unsure. If you want to hold that spot with a person you have to act on your intentions. Can’t sit on your hands and hope for the best.

http://blogs.ajc.com/misadventures-in-atlanta/2011/11/22/dating-mixed-signals/?cxntfid=blogs_misadventures_in_atlanta