by Rori Raye
Does your relationship hurt?
Are you in love with a man who is breaking your heart, putting you down, making you feel unloved, unwanted? Do you feel like you’re always on a roller coaster of emotions, but you’re too scared or addicted to leave?
You don’t have to be in such pain any more. I can help you quickly determine whether your man is truly toxic for you… or if he’s actually a good guy in disguise. I’ll give you the Tools to transform your man into a genuine good guy and finally have a close, connected relationship. I’ll also show you how to identify a truly dangerous man and how to leave him with your peace of mind intact.
I understand what you’re going through. For most of my life, I fell in love with all the wrong men. I remember one man - I was head over heels in love with. He was so attentive and seemed like a dream-come-true when I first met him. We had everything in common - the same interests, the same careers - even the same ENERGY.
We both talked fast, we were both so enthusiastic and demonstrative. It was totally thrilling from the first moment.
Then my worst fears started coming true. He started to put me down - from the clothes I wore to the way I stood, to how I did ANYTHING. All of a sudden I felt like I had to walk on eggshells around him, which made me feel small and weak, and powerless. But because I’d already invested so much time and energy and love in him, I just let it go on… and on… and on.
I kept trying to change the way I acted or talked around him, in hopes that I could “smooth things over” and make him love me more. And I blamed myself all the time, thinking I wasn’t strong enough to handle the situation and make it right.
He would be intense and romantic one day… then ignore me for days afterward.
He would talk about all the wonderful things he wanted us to do together, and I would feel like there was something to look forward to… but a few weeks later he’d get “amnesia,” and nothing changed.
As bad as things got, I was terrified to leave him. I would actually think, “What if there’s nothing better out there?”
So I stuck it out, and all the while I kept losing myself. I couldn’t relax. I felt lost and weak.
Love ISN’T supposed to feel this way. So…
Why It Is So Hard To Leave A Toxic Man?
When women are faced with a man with toxic qualities, we immediately try to figure out how we can change him and make him a better version of himself, instead of walking away.This is because Toxic Men have some really compelling POSITIVE QUALITIES. These positive qualities are a huge part of the reason why you stay with him for as long as you do.
These POSITIVE QUALITIES are so powerful, so addicting, you almost can’t help yourself. He may be extremely romantic at times, telling you how attracted he is to you and how “different” you are from any other woman he’s met. This can make you feel very wanted and beautiful.
Breaking The Pattern Of Toxic Relationships - So You Feel Loved And Supported… Forever
I knew something had to change in my toxic relationship. I had to find my way back to the strong, courageous and joyous woman I used to be.I experimented with putting my energy back into myself and my work instead of into HIM and HIS work. And I started to see myself as a separate person again. All of a sudden his clever put-downs and complaining and pointing out my weaknesses seemed childish.
And, amazingly enough - he STOPPED putting me down. By focusing on myself rather than him, I instinctively felt more like stepping away from him when he was nasty to me instead of working harder to win his approval in that moment. And - he changed.
But not enough… He DID transform, but I realized that the man he was wasn’t enough for me. Understanding what I wanted and deserved in a relationship helped me break the addiction and move on.
Ultimately, something magical happened - the good guy who would become my husband appeared. And, when the inevitable ups and downs of relationships showed up with my husband, I knew how to deal with it. Because I KNEW he was worth it.
You Have More Power Than You Think To Turn Any Relationship Around
It is possible to change the way your man feels about you and behaves toward you.When everything turned around for me, I finally realized that we as women have much more power over a man than we think.
It is possible to change the way your man feels about you and behaves toward you. I want to help YOU get back the love, honesty and authenticity you’ve lost along the way in your relationship with your own Toxic Man.
If you discover that your relationship DOES have more good points than bad, I can help you get 100% of the GOOD from the man in your life. If you come to realize your relationship is not worth fixing, I’ll help you get to a place where you can walk away with complete peace of mind and clarity that you’re ending things not because someone says you should, but because you WANT to.
3 Steps To Transforming Your Man From “Toxic” To “Loving”
STEP 1 -- Find Out If He’s Toxic, Or Just “Making Mistakes”
This step is the most important - and the absolute hardest for most of us!How can you tell if the negative qualities he has and the painful things he does are just minor flaws you can work with, or if they mean he is a Toxic Man? How do you know if he’s able to LEARN to fix his mistakes and do better - consistently better - or if these are signs he is dangerous to be in a relationship with?
The truth is, ALL of us have SOME negative qualities. Depending on what his are, it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s 100% toxic and that you can’t have a loving, happy, fulfilling relationship with him.
This step is crucial, because you can have a successful relationship with a man who has a toxic QUALITIES, but you will NEVER BE HAPPY with a Toxic Man.
STEP 2 -- Stop Treating The Symptoms
When we’re faced with a man with toxic qualities, we immediately try to figure out how we can change him and make him a better version of himself.But you will NEVER change your relationship if you just try to treat the symptom.
What do I mean when I say that?
If you’ve been focused on how to get him to be less selfish, less rude, less controlling or more mature, you’ve been treating the “symptoms” instead of addressing the cause. His behavior has a much deeper root cause than simply not knowing how to be kind, respectful or trusting.
The way your man behaves toward you has more to do with your RELATIONSHIP and the way you engage together, than it does with his rudeness, selfishness or dishonesty.
By focusing just on his negative qualities and not considering the ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP holistically, you’ve been trying to cure an infection by changing the band-aid.
Step 3 -- Start Transforming Your Man
Once you stop trying to change a specific quality in your man (or symptom) you can start focusing on changing your entire relationship. And when you change the nature of the relationship… YOU CHANGE THE MAN!That’s right. By treating the true “infection,” you not only get a loving, supportive, stable, balanced relationship… you also get all those POSITIVE qualities that kept you hanging on until now. The sweet words, the closeness, the grand gestures. And you get to be even stronger, happier, and confident in yourself.
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