I must have a partner who is gentle and kind.

When a man comes home at the end of a hard day, his ego in tatters, he's looking for a woman who's gentle and kind. When he thinks about someone to have children with he wants a woman who's gentle and kind. When he thinks about introducing her to his friends and family he wants a woman who is, you guessed it, gentle and kind. Nobody is perfect, but gentle and kind can make up a lot of ground.




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I must have a partner who is honest and strong enough to do the right thing

Men are practical beings. When it's time to start thinking about the type of woman they want to live with and love for a long time the silly stuff goes out the window. What stays are values like: "I must have a woman who is honest and strong enough to do the right thing." Because a serious relationship means vulnerability; sharing secrets, sharing finances, sharing weakness; and a man needs a woman who can treat those things with the security they deserve.

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I must have someone who is willing to explore our sexual desires with passion and understanding.

Sex comes in next. Don't pretend you're not shocked. The facts are a great sexual relationship is vital to a successful long-term relationship, and couples who are willing to discuss it, at the appropriate time, have a much better shot at making it last.

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I must have a partner who is emotionally healthy, and able to share a stable life with someone else.

Every man has dated the crazy woman. She screams when she's frustrated. She calls him at 3 a.m. wondering what he's doing. She hits on his friends. Crazy is hard to forget and so men place a special value on a woman who has a deep well of emotional health.

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I must have someone who is good at talking and listening.

You can ignore the stereotype -- the one about men just wanting a woman who will be quiet. eHarmony men want "a partner who is good at talking and listening." Simply put, if you're living a life with someone, you better be good at understanding what they think and sharing what you think. It takes two to tango.

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