6 Ways To Rediscover Erotic Sex With Your Spouse

By Melanie Votaw


Intense passion and loving intimacy can co-exist, but most couples struggle to merge erotic sex with tender love. Women don’t want to feel objectified to the absence of caring, and couples get bored if their sex lives are completely devoid of heat.


Here are some things you can try to merge tenderness and sexual heat. As you try the exercises, practice seeing your partner as someone you love who also deserves to feel the intensity of your desire and lust. Allow these exercises to move into intense passion.


What starts as gentle play can easily become deliciously hot, but you have to be willing. Don’t take any of the exercises too seriously, however. Playfulness is always welcome as long as you don’t make fun of your partner.

1. Experiment with a light touch on non-sexual parts of the body, such as the palms of the hands, the neck, the face, and the thighs. Take turns, and concentrate on the love you feel for your partner, allowing your arousal to rise naturally from your feelings of affection. Occasionally look into each other’s eyes, and giggle if the urge strikes. Continue to touch until you feel like you can’t stand it unless you make love. Couples often disconnect from both love and lust because they never give their passion time to build to a sense of urgency.


2. Everyone knows that massages are a great way to get turned on, but you can also use them to feel closer to one another. Use scented oil, which will increase the sensuality factor, and connect to the beauty of your partner’s body by closing your eyes. You can even imagine that you’re a sculptor creating this body in clay. As you rub, tell your partner what you love about his or her body. Here are examples: “I love the way your hip curves right here” or “The muscles in your arms feel so strong.”

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3. Moisture is very sensual and sexy, so take a pump bottle of body lotion and drizzle it over your partner. Of course, this is best done standing in the shower so that you can watch the liquid drip down over the hills and valleys. Then, rub the lotion into your partner’s skin with every part of your body except your hands! This is both sensual and playful and can lead to a passion-fest, if you let it.


4. Try some naked play in the tub or shower. Splash each other, build shampoo foam hats on each other’s heads, and engage in general silliness. If it doesn’t lead to lovemaking, don’t worry. You’re still connecting with each other in a great way.


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