Saturday, February 25, 2012

18 Bad Dating And Relationship Habits To Kick To The Curb For Lent (Or Anytime)

By Annie Scudder

A few days ago Lent began, and whether you’re religious or not, you might be giving up vices like soda or sugar. Why not make your love life a little sweeter while you’re at it. Here are some bad dating and relationship habits to swear off. We have ideas for single and taken women.

Hiding your true self. You want to be that “cool girl” who doesn’t care if he hangs out with the boys every weekend. But if it bothers you when he doesn’t give you enough time and affection, tell him. It’s the only way you’ll find a truly happy, sustainable relationship.

Focusing on his flaws. Is his hairline receding? Did he talk about his job a little too much when you first met him? Did he make an awkward joke in front of your friends? If you focus on these minor flaws, instead of your overall connection, you’re never going to get past the first date. Don’t settle, but also give a guy a chance to impress you.

Focusing on your flaws. Whether you get down about the fact that it’s been ages since your last relationship, or that you’re more shy than your other friends, don’t let that dictate your dating life. Instead this Lent, think about what makes you and your personality attractive and promise that you’ll accentuate those qualities.

Worrying constantly about what your friends think. Don’t let your friends’ opinion of your man’s job, personality, looks, or background influence you too much or turn you off from a guy. Listen to their earnest advice, while trusting your own feelings for him.

Limiting yourself to a type. Don’t let the words “he’s not my type,” leave your mouth, whether you’re online dating or getting set up on a date.

Waiting for his text or call. Stop letting his text or lack thereof make or break your day.

Second-guessing yourself. Did it bother you when the guy you’re dating bailed on a plan or said something rude to a friend? Don’t worry about whether you have a right to be upset. Trust your gut and act accordingly.

Taking your relationship for granted. For Lent, give up taking love, be it romantic or for a friend or family member, for granted. Tell the important people in your life why you love them, in person, with a postcard, or when they do something that makes you happy.

Picking fights. If you’re feeling grumpy after a hard day at work, vent to your partner, rather than getting mad at him about something unrelated like his dirty laundry. And if you’re actually mad about the clothes pile, tell him straight up in a constructive way.

Comparing your relationship to others. Did your friend just get engaged? Are you wondering why your boyfriend isn’t buying you lavish birthday presents? Just worry about your own expectations and needs and communicate them to your partner, instead of measuring yourself against the relationships of others.

Making your partner guess what’s bothering you. Just be honest with your man if it bothers you that he didn’t invite you to hang out on Friday night with his friends, or if you’re bummed he didn’t do something special on your anniversary. If you shut down communication, give him the cold shoulder, and expect him to figure out what’s wrong, he won’t be able to address the problem and your resentment will grow.

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My Man Is Hurting Because Of The Pain Of His Past And Our Relationship Is Stuck Because Of It

How are you both. I hope this letter reaches one or the other or both. Please I am making a humble request for a brief video for my man and I. Our issue may be getting worse and since you all are experts, we truly need your opinion.

My man and I have been dating for five years now, and he is an incredible person. He is a father of two boys from a previous relationship whom he has been caring for. The number one person he doesn’t care for is himself. His childhood was really horrible, which amazingly hasn’t kept him from being a great man, but his anxiety has. He aspires to be an actor and his mother laughed at the idea and never supported him as a child, so he went about it himself when he was of age. I applauded that, although He is suffering from anxiety and depression from the taunting of his mother when he was very young. We are now in a long distance relationship due to my work which makes things a bit more challenging. But it was already a long distance relationship before I left. When we are talking, he will have good days and bad days where he will tell me he often struggles just to be happy and how he wishes that he could have addressed this BEFORE we got together. His mother comes up in every conversation and truly breaks the flow of US as a couple. She is even the reason that he decided to have kids with the wrong person, because she made fun of him not having a woman or kids and called him weird. He was the type that would do anything for his mother, which has backfired. His mother treats him differently than his siblings and doesn’t bother to call him and ask how he is doing or his kids. I find it disgusting. My parents were the exact opposite.

I am in his corner actively helping him get what his mother didn’t and still does not give him…love. Not that I am attempting to play the role of his mother. I just want to be the fresh breath of positive air all the negative parts of his life. I see him making attempts on our dates, to not have flashbacks to his childhood and it breaks my heart to see him relaspe back into the same mode of thinking. The main phrase he says when asked what is wrong is, “I am tired of not living the life that I want to live, I should be further than this if it wasn’t for her.” I’m really tired of hearing about this woman, but I know he has to vent. I’m torn.

We have been in counseling as partner and he has seen a couple of individual counselors, which I strongly feel he needs. Unfortunately the counseling doesn’t seem to be strong enough. He wakes up with panic attacks and I wake up with him to soothe him, now by phone. This anxiety is really attempting to tear apart the 5 years that we built together. One thing about him is that he is so OPEN to anything that will help him. He is trying to fight it everyday and he apologized to me for being this way. I know that it definately isn’t his fault and I want and need things to work, but sometimes when I talk to him by phone, there are these long periods of silence, because he doesn’t know what to say or how to please me.

I have told him since we started dating that he needs some time for himself and a break from his boys, whom he raises on his own. He needs periods where he is totally by himself to establish his idenity and happiness. It took him awhile to realize this and he is slowly beginning to do this now, but the anxiety makes an attempt to push him down, and push us down when he makes an attempt to fix his life. Arguments happen, then we usually (when in person) hug and say I’m sorry. But lately it’s like I am dating a different person as the years go by, he’s colder and less enthustiastic, but he will still try. Aiyana and Ayize, I strongly want this man and he has shown his love for me in so many ways, and the many things that we have been through together. It pains me to see him in pain and I feel like nothing I do is helping the deeper issue. We have talked about dealing with things on the next level, because I am deeply at the point in my life where I want to at least see an opening for engagement, even though he must be engaged to himself. Can both work somehow? I am giving so much of myself, not expecting anything in return except for his health to be restored, and at the same time I just need an outlet myself.

I know this is an odd situation, because he may have needed lots of self time to battle the ridicule he received from his parents, particularly his mother, but now he is IN this relationship with me and it’s almost as if he needs to be alone All the time. I can respect and I definately am a supporter as I said earlier of self time and space, but it seems that no matter how much space he gets each week, that his panic attacks during the night get worse and his mood is very heavy during the day, where he will get upset with me for a problem he is creating because he is miserable. I try to give him his space weekly, a three to four day break, then we reunite and I follow up to ask him how he is doing. I am a strong believer in space myself, it strengthens the relationship. My question is…… can a person who is struggling with self love and idenity who is already in a relationship make it work somehow? Please help us.

Thanks for reading this viewer’s letter and watching our video.  If you’d like to receive a RELATIONSHIP ASSESSMENT from us (Ayize & Aiyana Ma’at) within 24-72 hrs please CLICK HERE.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Keeping Her Attention

By Mybrotha.COM Relationship Editor

How many of us really know what it takes to keep a woman's attention? A lot of women don't mind the suave words and phrases you may use. Some may even be flattered by those words. But it takes more than a few chessy lines to keep her from wavering. Even more important, how do you handle getting her attention and keeping it for longer than a single day? The answers can be both complex and simple at the same time.

Now before you settle on using lame pickup lines that were probably worthless during your high school days, consider the fact that most women have been exposed to the game for a lot longer than they care to mention. There aren't many pickup lines women haven't heard before. If you want to reap the benefits of meeting and keeping a quality woman, try some of these techniques and take note of the differences in these -- and the ones you may currently use.

Track Star
Women love attention. But most do not wish to be feverishly chased into a corner where they feel trapped or smothered. There is a fine line between showing a woman an adequate amount of attention, and dishing out more than she can handle. Attention isn't some substance she can peel off in chunks and use for a later date. The amount you show her at any given moment should be calculated with care. After all, you're in this for a reason, right?

So stop running so fast. Those old clich├ęs about "chasing the woman" and using the, "full-court press", are out-dated and overrated. Besides, men can never keep up with those reputations and this will be painfully evident soon after a woman accepts the invites and the chase settles down a bit.

Low-level Contact
For some reason, there is no in-between for guys. We either don't call the women we claim to be interested in, or we give new meaning to the term, "hotline". Phone calling should be kept to a minimum. That's right. Totally opposite from the traditional phone-blasts many men present, women look for sincere phone calls that show desire and thoughtfulness. Besides that, you have to remain somewhat of a challenge. If a woman expects you to call too often, you need to do exactly the opposite.

These phone calls or emails don't have to be 5-hour marathons, or 4-page soliloquies. Two quality phone calls during the week, is 99-times better than ten sorry ones over two days.

High-level Reception
Men are notorius for being the aggressors, and disappearing like ghosts when women try to reach them. While most women won't pursue men indefinitely, many will initiate telephone calls or emails if their interests have been piqued. The result should be a man who is available to answer those calls or messages from time to time. This means, if you are an extremely difficult person to get a hold of at any point in time, her attention-meter begins to swing towards the negative numbers. (In these instances, negative numbers are not good!)

In other words, be available. One of the first negative characteristics women tag to a man's persona, is his ability to show up. Of course, you don't have to be in every spot she expects to find you, but the harder it is for her to reach you, the easier it is for her to stop trying.

Support her Goals
It's not all about you. The sooner you learn this, the better. Your goal here is to be known as a man who listens and shows affectionate attention without being asked or coerced.

We're living during the times of the independent sista, so most women you meet will already have goals, aspirations, and dreams to strive for. Some may already be in the midst of realizing those dreams, and how you handle the reception of those dreams, is important for the future.

If you don't understand her desire to collect stamps, or open a Shetland pony farm, show an interest in the fact that she has dreams, even if you don't like what she's dreaming about.

Don't Do Anything
You got it. Meet with her, sit with her, stand at the counter in McDonald's with her, and do absolutely nothing. There's no need to go overboard in the impression department. There is nothing wrong with pointing out your talents every now and then, but don't worry about making earth-shattering revelations, or solving the world's problems when you meet.

Just be yourself enjoy the quality moments you have. There will be plenty of time to shine if you have her attention.

Standing Up to Domestic Abuse

By Mybrotha.COM Staff Writer

(Mybrotha.COM) - While women in America have made tremendous strides socially, financially and politically over the past 50 years, domestic abuse continues to surface as a major problem in our communities.

Violence against women can vary in frequency and severity. It can occur on a continuous basis--ranging from one hit that may or may not impact the victim-- to chronic, severe battering.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's (CDC) National Center for Injury and Prevention Control fact sheet released in early 2012, nearly 3 in 10 women in the U.S. have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner. The term "intimate partner violence" (IPV) denotes harm by a current or former partner or spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend. This type of violence can occur among heterosexual or same-sex couples, and does not require sexual intimacy.

IPV resulted in 2,340 deaths in 2007. Of these deaths, 70% were females. The medical care, mental health services, and lost productivity (e.g., time away from work) costs of IPV was an estimated $8.8 billion that same year.

One of the many difficulties facing women who deal with domestic abuse is the feeling of helplessness. Elva Thompson, President and Founder of the Precious Hearts Foundation, says that while it may seem impossible, women need to know that there is a way out.

"You're in a 'no win' situation," says Thompson. "You cannot change a person, and the longer you stay in an abusive relationship, the worse it will get. That person will have to want to change on their own, and if you stay, you're playing Russian roulette."

The Precious Hearts Foundation is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization that serves as an aid for men, women, and children who are victims of domestic abuse.

Thompson, the mother of five and past victim/survivor of domestic abuse, understands how fear can consume the hearts and minds of women who are afraid to leave an abusive relationship.

"Being a past survivor, I was in that mindset of being afraid to leave. If I knew then what I know now, I would have ran away quickly," Thompson told Mybrotha.COM. "I had a fear that he would find me and do worse damage. I was isolated and didn't know about helplines or shelters. But now that I am on the opposite end, I am telling victims to seek local domestic violence shelters so they can provide you with advice, counseling, shelter, and resources to deal with the situation."

Domestic violence is best understood as a pattern of abusive behaviors (including physical, sexual, and psychological attacks as well as economic coercion) used by one partner against another (adult or adolescent) to gain, maintain, or regain power and control in the relationship.

The CDC says abuse can take many forms. Some of the most common types of abuse include the following:

Battering and physical violence--Throwing objects at the victim, pushing, hitting, slapping, kicking, choking, beating, or attacking with a weapon

Threats of physical or sexual violence--This includes the use of words, gestures, weapons, or other means to communicate the intent to cause harm.

Sexual abuse--Forced sexual activity, including vaginal, oral, or anal intercourse

Psychological/emotional abuse--Forcing the victim to perform degrading acts, threatening to harm a partner or her children, attacking or smashing valued objects and pets, or trying to dominate or control a woman's life

For men who exhibit violent behavior against women, Thompson believes there is hope for those who wish to change. "Recognizing that you have a problem is the first step and I commend those men who want to change," she said. "The second step is to seek counseling to better yourself and those around you, and don't forget to say--I'm sorry. Follow it up with not allowing your anger to get the best of you and express love to your mate."

Thompson also serves on the Board of Directors of the D.I.V.A.S Club as the Communications and Public Affairs Director for Alpha Christian Counseling Services. D.I.V.A.S., an acronym for: D-Divine / I-Inspirational / V-Virtuous / A-Anointed Women of God, is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that provides aid to children of domestic abuse.

"Oftentimes you would hear the old saying, 'I wouldn't know my husband loved me unless he hit me,' Thompson explained. "Well I say, if he loves you, he wouldn't hit you. The only time he would put his hands on you is to show you affection. Walk away and take the necessary steps to move toward your safety, freedom, and victory."

For more information about the Precious Hearts Foundation, or to make a donation to support victims of domestic violence, go to For a direct line to an advocate, call 1-877-731-2210.

About The Precious Hearts Foundation

5 Easy Ways To Spice Up Your Relationship

By Darryl Mobley

It’s easy to get in to a relationship rut, even when you truly love each other. However, it is dangerous to let this happen because once you’re in too deep, it’s difficult to dig yourself out. So, remember these 5 tips that will always keep your relationship fresh and alive.

1. Laugh It Up. Don’t take life too seriously. Look for things that you can laugh at together. My wife and I find humor in all sorts of situations that might cause other couples to fight — like our hotel forgetting to order our taxi and as a result, us getting separated and then missing our train in a foreign country. We actually saw the other couple this happened to on our trip yelling at each other in the middle of the street at the top of their lungs. We found that amusing (and sad for them) and still make fun of it to this day.

2. Grab a Kiss and Hug. Remember when you first starting dating and you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other? You took every opportunity to grab a discrete kiss or hug or squeeze hands. Why stop showing affection? Not only does this remind you and your honey how important you are too each other, it’s actually good for you!

Research has shown that couples who regularly give and receive affection are healthier and live longer. Make it a point to always greet your significant other with a hug and kiss. Also, give each other at least 10 minutes a day of undivided attention.

3. Give A Treat “Just Because.” Don’t wait for a special holiday or birthday to give your one-and-only a gift. Show your significant other how you feel when they least expect it. My wife likes to bring me treats from the grocery store on occasion that she knows I like and that she wouldn’t normally buy. And when the treats make their way into the house, she makes a big deal out of letting the kids know that whatever she’s purchased is for me, not them.

4. The Power of Praise. Many special qualities attracted you to your mate — their sense of humor, kindness, smarts, quick wit, personality… How often do you tell your honey what you appreciate about them and what makes them special to you?

Research shows that people tend to live up to (or down to) expectations. What this means is that if we expect and encourage the habits and traits we love in our mate, then they are likely to develop even more habits and traits that we find positive. One way to praise and encourage the traits and habits you love about your mate is to first, write down everything you love about your mate on a piece of paper. Then, look at this list every morning and choose a trait you will compliment your significant other on for that particular day. Try it. You’ll be amazed at the positive reaction you will get.

5. Give Your Precious Time. One thing we cannot control is the number of hours in a day. Time is a scarce commodity. Most people wish they could cram more hours into a day. Well, what better way to show your honey you love them than to give the gift of time? Volunteer to run an errand you know your honey really doesn’t have time for. Or, cut them some slack on the household chores. Your mate will notice and reciprocate.

Remember, to keep your relationship strong, never stop dating. Everyone’s always on their best behavior when they’re dating.

Meet Darryl Mobley— For nearly 25 years, super-achievers have praised “ Winner’s Life & Business Coach” Darryl L. Mobley. You may know him as the founder and publisher of one of the nation’s leading magazines and the author of the highly praised 100 Worst Relationship Mistakes & How To Fix or Avoid Them and the 10 Day Relationship Turnaround. Darryl is brilliant when it comes to the strategies and action steps that lead to living a better life. Or, as he puts it, “How To Create A Life Worth Living™.” If you want to learn How To Create The Life Of Your Dreams – personally and professionally – with more happiness, more income, better relationships and more success, visit How To Create A Life Worth Living 

Thursday, February 23, 2012

7 Things You Should Never Talk About On A First Date

By Mybrotha.COM Staff Writer

We don't want to tell you brothas how to live and love, but some of you are totally off-base when embarking on a first date. No worries though. If you're willing to listen, we're here to help straighten things out.

Follow these 7 simple guidelines to help create a great first date experience, and to help save your skull from certain torture!

1. Shut-Up! - Don't talk so much. Period. Especially about yourself. Women love it when you're curious about them and show an interest in giving them attention. They also love a man who can hold a decent conversation. You could talk about politics, your careers, the ridiculous gas prices, or why the Fugees broke up. Doesn't really matter what subjects you choose, as long as they're not boring. They also shouldn't include anything in the remaining 6 steps.

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2. Sex - Should we even have to explain this one? Sex is a touchy subject with women. They either love to talk about it, or they're uncomfortable mentioning it--especially when they don't know you. If your date likes talking about sex and intimacy, let her initiate it. Never be the first to ramble about your sex life.

Furthermore, if she skews the conversation towards sex, be careful. Don't talk about your conquests, or throw out phrases like "one-night-stand" and "hotel chandelier". You may never live it down.

Should the two of you decide to explore a more meaningful relationship, there will be plenty of time to converse about sex, and what your likes and dislikes are.

3. The Ex - For all of you brothas who have talked about your ex's on a first date, either because you hadn't gotten over your ex, or because you were just crazy enough to initiate the subject, we will be sending a professional hit squad to your current location...(free of charge)! We have no problem doing this for you, since you have obviously chosen to initiate your own demise by talking about an ex. This is a big no-no.

Unlike many men, sistas don't usually care about your past. Especially when it comes to your ex's. Even if you have a few indescretions from back in the day, women look for new beginnings. They figure, "He's hopefully concentrating on me now, so all others are irrelevant".

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4. Personal Problems - You have to remember that she doesn't even know you. Your, "woe is me" sob stories, probably won't have much effect on her. Even if they trigger a response, you shouldn't talk about them.

On a first date, women look for security, stability, and intrigue. If you lose her interest by whining or complaining about how bad life is, you just may lose any chances you had with her.

5. Marriage - Believe it or not, this subject is off limits as well. You'd think sistas would love talking about parading down the aisle, but most women go out on dates to have fun and to learn a little about the guy they're spending time with. Talking about marriage and committing your life to her, is inappropriate for the moment.

Wait for a few months to even skirt around this subject. If she asks your opinions about marriage during your first date, give a short, concise answer stating whether or not you would like to be married someday. But don't profess your undying love for her when she doesn't even know what size shirt you wear.

6. Money - More than likely, she's got more of it than you do! Money is always a touchy subject and how much you've got in the bank, doesn't really impress women. Sure, there are a couple of money-hungry chicks around, but most sistas are more interested in character and potential.

If you're flashy and got mad cash in multiple bank accounts, it's nothing to be ashamed of. But never make it the center of conversation.

The on flip side, the words "budget" and "poor" should never come up. We're not saying you should lie about your financial situation, but you don't have to spell out your yearly salary either. Don't make her think you're a frugal, cheapo, with no intention of spending a penny in the future.

If you're not big ballin', it's okay. Most women would rather spend time with a brotha who's cool and got a little, than with one who's a jerk and got a lot.

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7. Anything Negative - What more can we say about this one? If it's sad, derrogatory, mean-spirited, or otherwise negative, don't bring it up. Women like humor, peppered with positive and meaningful conversation.

Don't make the mistake of trying to solve the world's problems though. Good conversation doesn't always need to have a detailed purpose.

Talk about your ideas for a new business, or fun time you had visiting family during the holidays.

But if any part of the conversation takes on a negative tone, changing the subject to something more positive would be in your best interests.

Remember this: These are turn-offs for women on first dates. Some of these subjects may be more comfortable after you've spent more time hanging out. So if you want to make a good impression, study the list and make sure to stray away from these 7 no-no's.

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7 Things You Should Never Talk About On A First Date

Don't Miss a Move

Ever have trouble trying to decipher what your date is really thinking?

Interracial Singles

MEN, IMAGINE THIS: You're on your first date with a beautiful woman, and you're telling a funny story. She's nodding, mmmhhmm-ing and laughing in all the appropriate places, but her eyes are darting around the room, she can't sit still, and her laughter is strangely monotone. Does she like you? The answer is a big fat NO. Sorry, my friend.

NOW IMAGINE: You're dropping off a date after dinner, you've had a great time, and you ask her if she'd like to see a movie next week. She says, "I don't know." But, her head is tilted coyly to the side, she's smiling flirtatiously, and her eyes are staring straight into yours with a blinding sparkle. Does she want to go? You bet she does, pal!
Ladies, it isn't any easier for you to know what he's thinking. So, how do you figure out what's really going on? Here's the secret: Stop listening to what's coming out of your date's mouth and start paying attention to body language. If you listen to words, you may get stuck with a pack of lies, but body language unconsciously reveals true emotions. It's the lie detector of the dating world. Though gender-specific indicators exist, the principles are the same for both men and women.

  • So, next time your date has you stumped, try following these hints:



    You're In!
    • Relaxed posture

    • Good, steady eye contact

    • Playing with, caressing or touching objects (like hair, pen, or napkin)

    • Leaning towards you

    • Tilting head

    • Any physical contact with you (like a touch on the hand or brushing feet under the table)

    • Palms open and arms uncrossed

    • Smiling, laughing, joking, or sparkling eyes

    • Talking with hands

    • Giving you COMPLETE attention

    • Adjusting attire, grooming

    • Moving "in-sync" with you (playing copycatshifting or tilting heads simultaneously, same speed of talking, etc.)

    • Dilated pupils

    • It's Time to Bail!

      • Little or no eye contact

      • Arms crossed, closed posture

      • Tense or fidgety body motions

      • Yawning

      • Neutral air of politeness and no laughter or smiling

      • Too much nodding

      • Tightness of facial muscles

      • Impatience

      • Hand covering mouth

      • Avoids any touching

      • Distractions (eyes darting around the room, flipping through magazine, spacing out)

      • Leaves lots of personal space

      • Attention wanders while you speak

      • Keeps mouth closed

      • Small or normal pupils

      • One last word of advice: Don't make judgments based on a single cue--pay attention to the whole picture! (You never know...a yawn may indicate boredom, but it might also mean that your date had an early morning.)
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Poll Shows 55 Percent of Christian Singles Believe in Love at First Sight

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Valentine's Day Survey Results Also Indicate Men Have More Romantic Tendencies Than Women

A recent Valentine's Day poll conducted by ChristianMingle, the largest and fastest growing online community for Christian singles, revealed 55 percent of Christian singles believe in love at first sight. 24 percent said they didn't believe in love at first sight and 21 percent were undecided on the issue.

The ChristianMingle poll included several questions related to love and the upcoming February 14th holiday. Surprisingly, the results suggest men have more romantic tendencies than women, with 58 percent of men saying they believe in love at first sight, compared to 53 percent of females. Also, when asked the question, "What do you want most for Valentine's Day?" 81 percent of men answered they want a significant other as opposed to only 61 percent of women.

"Even after everything we think we know about love and commitment, singles still believe you can tell from the first impression whether a person is right for you or not," said Ashley Reccord, Christian community manager for Spark Networks®, owner and operator of ChristianMingle. "These results are contrary to what we expected. While the stereotype is that women are more romantic at heart, our poll suggests men may trump women in believing in romance, even if they don't always show it outwardly."

In response to other questions, the online survey revealed 46 percent of Christian singles believe there is one right person in the world for them, compared to 34 percent who disagreed and 20 percent who were undecided. The poll also showed age as a key determining factor when it comes to soul mates -- with only 39 percent of those 56 years and older answering favorably to the question compared with 57 percent of 18- to 25-year-olds.

"ChristianMingle's tagline is 'Find God's Match for You®,' which has spurred a new conversation about whether soul mates exist," Reccord said. "While biblically there is no right or wrong answer, this poll shows a large number of Christian singles still believe there is one perfect person for them."

ChristianMingle, one of the top Christian websites and the largest online community for Christian singles, is the premier online community for individuals looking to date and marry within the Christian faith.
ChristianMingle has more than five million registered members, with more than two million new members having registered in the last year alone. ChristianMingle's deepest desire is to see its members grow in their relationship with Christ while living out their spiritual journeys.

For more information on ChristianMingle and its offerings, visit

BONUS Least Popular Must Have - I must have a spouse who has saved herself sexually for marriage.

While clearly there are men out there who have an interest in virginity, eHarmony men rank it near the bottom. Perhaps this is because the average age of eHarmony users is somewhat older.

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BONUS Least Popular Must Have - I must have someone who is willing to help me take care of my parents, now or when the time comes.

The least popular must have. Perhaps it's because a younger person just doesn't consider this a ranking concern. Maybe men feel that other must haves cover a range of attitudes and values that includes this one.

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