10 Reasons We Love Dating Black Men

The Way You Move

From the President to the UPS delivery man, Black men walk like they own the place—and they do. Carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders, they still manage to glide across the room. And we’re most certainly watching.
By Charreah Jackson

Those Lips 

 Along with sexy smiles, Black men are cornering the market on juicy lips. Whispering to us during a movie, savoring a bite during dinner, or even a flashing a little frown can have us thinking some heated thoughts.

Tell It Like It Is 

Know what I’m saying? We most certainly do. We love a brother’s ability to infuse a few terms from around the way along with Webster’s finest after a long day. When street smarts meet book smarts and common sense, that’s real education.

 Dear Mama

We don’t mind if a Black man takes another woman’s call in front of us, as long as it ends with “Love you too, mama.” The way a man treats his mother is definitely a sign on how he views women, and Black men have a sweet spot when it comes to their moms. What’s sexier than that?

 

Swagger Like Us

No one can wear their hat cocked to the side just so like a Black man can. Whether 18 or 81, on Saville Row in London or on South Street in Philly, sporting a Yankee fitted or a fedora—it just doesn’t look the same on anyone else.

Say What? 

 “Times like this I wish that raindrops would fall.” Forget Shakespeare and Sinatra. There is nothing better than being with a Black man and not having to explain your favorite movie and TV quotes—from Eddie King, Jr. to Shug Avery, Joe Clark and Martin Payne.

 

Beyond Our Hard Shell 

Black men realize that being a strong Black woman is for survival and one part of our multidimensional personalities. You being strong allows us to be soft and let our hair down (in all its hues and textures). And we’ll do the same when your soft and loving side wants company.

 Beautiful Dreamer

 We’ve all got a daddy or uncle who believes in his outlandish plans for success—even when nobody else does. We love the drive and ambition of a Black man to see what doesn’t yet exist, and most importantly he is putting in the hard work to make it happen.

 Truth of Our Tresses

Even Jay-Z knows not to stick his hand in wifey’s hair. We don’t know where Chris Rock found the Black men included in “Good Hair,” but the brothers we love understand our hair history and know to admire our tresses from afar, unless told otherwise. Black men also realize they’ve made it to a new level of intimacy when we pull out that scarf that keeps things fresh.

 

Oh, the Memories 

We go waaaaay back. Black men share our long and deep history of pride, pain and progress. We share common knowledge on when it’s appropriate to whip out the race card, and when to look in the mirror. We are partners to create and mold the next generation, as we remember the ones before.

What do you love most about dating Black men?

 

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Do Bad Guys Always Get the Girl?

When Mr. Nice loses out to Mr. Naughty in the dating game

If we are to believe the movies, the ruthless tough guy always gets the girl. And didn't it seem that the bad boys at school always had the hottest babes? The best looking girls always seem to love the bad guys. Maybe because the best looking guys always became the bad guys? Everywhere we tend to see bad guys and nice girls. We see fools and meatheads with the girls of our fantasies. In the mall we see our flaxen haired goddesses with America's Most Wanted. Is it nature at work, is it us, what has gone awry?

Men are confused. We like to refer to stereotypes and work from them. Men are told that we need to be a hero and a tough guy. But then we are told we need to be in touch with our sensitive sides. Meanwhile the man down the street who treats his girlfriends like crap, never calls, is rude and disrespect appears to have a fan club developing. Life, my friends, can seem unfair. But let's look at what is going on with this scenario.

Interest. Bad guys are interesting, they do interesting things. They have strayed from the straight-and-narrow and have developed their own code of conduct. They do what they want. They go where they want. They answer to no one. They are, in other words, fascinating. Tow the line, do as you are told and inevitably you will be become dull. Mavericks are interesting, straight guys are not.

Bad guys are confident and self assured. They know what they're about and don't really care what others think. They are their own men and don't need others to prop them up. Bad guys don't have to be in shape, just look at James Galdofini from The Sopranos, who is immensely attractive despite his rotund appearance. Some can become almost caricatures of themselves, but that doesn't make them any less attractive.


Plus bad guys are a challenge. We all love a challenge, and women may love a challenge even more than the boys. If something is a challenge, the end results must surely be worthwhile, right? The girls who go after bad guys want to find the pot of gold at the end of crazy rainbow. They will go to great lengths to solve their mysteries. And once they have them, once they've conquered the challenge, they don't want to let go. Plus it makes for an exciting roller coaster ride because the bad guy could walk away at any moment. The greater the danger of loosing a bad guy, the greater the effort they'll put forth to keep them. And there may be a lesson there.


What do we have if we combine these facets? Power, strength of character, confidence, a maverick nature and an immensely interesting personality equals sexiness. That is exactly what the bad boy is, so it's no surprise that this type of guy often get the gal. It doesn't mean to say that we like them, and it doesn't mean it is fair or even a good thing, but raw attraction can be nature's way.

I am not in any way suggesting that we should all be Mr. Bad Guy. Not at all. What I am saying is that there are lessons to be learned here. What is attractive can be modified and added to our arsenal of dating weaponry. How you perceive yourself that matters the most. If you can increase your confidence levels, get your career on the right tracks, excel in what you do and be your own man within the confines of your working life, then you'll get that bad boy confidence. And that attitude will boost your attractiveness. You don't need to go around being bad, but you can be a bit more deliberate in your actions, a little less available and a little more enigmatic. This will boost your interest factor and again help in your attractiveness.

The modern dating game is highly complex and courting rituals can be a minefield. Go back to basics, analyze what is it that you think potential partners would like and think about how can you match of yourself to those qualities. Changing just a few small things could make the world of difference.

 Do Bad Guys Always Get the Girl?

 

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Sunmee Kim, arrested last month, victimized at least six men in Los Angeles and Orange counties, authorities say. They have tracked her activities back to 2009 and believe there are other victims.

By Sarah Peters, Los Angeles Times

Police said they are seeking additional victims of a woman who allegedly used Internet dating sites to target Korean men in Los Angeles and Orange counties and then stole their property.

Investigators said they believe Sunmee Kim, 36, targeted men who trolled websites such as koreancupid.com and then met with them.

  Police arrested her Dec. 21 on outstanding warrants issued from both counties.

 The arrest came a week after Kim reported that she had been a victim of domestic violence, police said. Investigators said they later determined that the Los Angeles woman was not a crime victim at all and had reported her allegation while using a stolen identity.

Police said that, on the basis of her initial report, they believe Kim had a 44-year-old Irvine businessman she met on koreancupid.com removed from his own home.

While the man was in custody, Kim allegedly burglarized his house.

A detective later matched her fingerprints to those in a criminal database after becoming suspicious about inconsistencies in her report, police said.

Detectives said they have tracked Kim's activities as far back as 2009, when the first known incident involving her occurred.

On multiple occasions Kim has stolen Korean women's identities and targeted Korean men she met over the Internet, police said.

Kim has been connected to at least six cases, police said, but detectives believe there are more victims.

Theft suspect accused of targeting Korean men on dating websites

 

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