Permission to Take My Pants Off: How Not to Seduce a Woman

“Honey, it’s ok if you take your pants off,” Blake offered generously. Or at least, his tone sounded like the tone of a man who is being generous.


“Thanks honey, but I’m cold. And working. And tired. And I like pants,” I added.


“But it’s ok, darling, you don’t need to wear them. I really don’t even mind if you take them off!” He grinned cheekily, hoping his charming antics would seduce me into nudity.


Nope.


Operation Pants Removal


That conversation is repeated every day, sometimes multiple times. It has succeeded exactly zero times, but that doesn’t discourage Blake. “Someday you will learn the truth about pants,” he explains earnestly. “It’s like subliminal advertising. If I keep giving you permission, then your subconscious will eventually set you free from the terrible confines of wearing clothes all the damn time. See honey! I am only trying to help you!”


Why is it that men have such a constant desire to remove our clothes? If Blake sat around working on his computer with his pants off, I would not be turned on. (And by “If,” I mean “Every day when . . .”) But Blake is in a constant war with my wardrobe, deeming it his manly duty to vigilantly, valiantly pursue the goal of convincing me to disrobe.


I Like Pants, But I Like Him Better


Sometimes his pestering annoys me. If I’m trying to concentrate and he keeps yammering about my pants, it is irritating, not sexy. I know that I can take my pants off. I am the master of my own clothes. If I have my pants on, it’s because I want to have my pants on. (Like I said, I like pants.)


But in other little ways—telling me I’m beautiful, washing the dishes, having fun together in bed—Blake reminds me why he wages his anti-pants campaign: it’s because he truly loves to see anything and everything that is under my pants. He isn’t bored of me or disgusted by me. When he sees me in my underthings, he is enthralled, and he feels honored. And really, that’s pretty flattering.


And so, sometimes I take my pants off for him. And it’s usually worth it.


Permission to Take My Pants Off: How Not to Seduce a Woman

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THINK LIKE A MAN: How Soon Do You Give It Up Or Go Downtown?

by HelloBeautiful

So, you’ve met someone that you like a lot,you’ve gone on a few dates and even spent some time kissing and feeling up on each other. It’s only natural that you want to take it to the next level. If a woman gets busy with a guy too soon, does she automatically nix her chances for long-term love? How soon do you give it up or go downtown?


Our dating experts share their thoughts on this hot topic.

(Jozen Cumming) HE SAID:

As far as I’m concerned, too many women are concerned with giving it up too soon. What they need to care about is giving it up too late?

I’m certainly not going to be the guy who says a woman should give it up on the first date, but I will be the guy who lets you women in on a little secret: There are women who have actually gotten a ring put on their finger by a man who they gave it up to on the first date. And I’m not talking a small group of men either, I’m talking a large group of men out there who don’t judge a woman based on how quickly she gives it up or goes down on him.

Trust me ladies, I’m one of those men.

If a woman thinks five dates is too soon to have sex with me, that’s fine, but she has to understand why that concerns me.

The ability to have sex with another person relies heavily on how comfortable we are with that person. If by date five a woman isn’t comfortable having sex with me, how is she even comfortable going out on date after date with me? I understand a date in a public space, where she’s safe under the guise of random bystanders is not the same as sex in a private space, where no one is watching, but frankly, if she’s not comfortable enough to share a bed with me by date five, I might have to move on because being around someone who isn’t comfortable with me after five dates will start to make me feel uncomfortable.

So to answer the question, I guess I’m saying, anything under five dates would not be too soon to give it up, but anything over five dates might be too late to give it up.

To be even more specific, there’s no way a relationship will be had without either of us

(Telisha Ng) SHE SAID:

To me telling anyone when to have sex for the first time with someone they like is comparable to scheduling bathroom breaks. A handful of us were raised to believe that sex before marriage is wrong amongst other things so we’ve always had a mental timeline for intimacy and various life stages. I’ve heard of couples who got down on the first night and went to the altar months down the road; I’ve also heard of couples who waited until they said I do to consummate the marriage. The end result was the same- undying love.

In my own personal life I’ve waited abiding by the 3-4-5-6-10-15-100 date rule and have come up from under the covers only to find that we weren’t compatible. I’ve also lived life on the edge and given in to my burning desires on the first date and went on to have a very fulfilling relationship. I care very little about what others may think, and I regret nothing although I’m fully aware that there is always backlash from those who do not support first date sex. I think the most barbaric mindset is one that would attach a timeline to intimacy. There is so much more at play when building a relationship with someone than sex.

Our bodies are our special and sex is a gift that we give to whomever we chose to.

Only you can decide on a timeline of when to give that gift. When we become intimate with anyone for the first time a risk is taken whether we have known the person for eons or an evening. Emotional attachment, sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy- sex is a gift that comes with a great deal of responsibility. And just like that Christmas gift you walked up and down the mall for, there is always a chance that the person on the receiving end may not appreciate it, no matter how much pretty wrapping paper you use.

Know what you want out of a relationship, talk about sex and being intimate with the person you are considering and please pay attention to your good friend intuition, she misses you!

The reason relationships fail is not based on how soon you give it up or go downtown, it’s from a lack of communication.

THINK LIKE A MAN: How Soon Do You Give It Up Or Go Downtown?

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“He Won’t Leave Me Alone Despite Me Telling Him That I’m Not Interested In Him”

by Terrance Dean

You’ve got questions? He’s got answers!

Email your questions to Your Gay Best Friend at: girlworkonyou@aol.com

Dear Gay Best Friend,

How does one break up with a man that one is not even casually dating? Let me explain. The guy in question is my sister’s nephew-in-law, her sister-in-law’s son (55). All family activities are held at my sister’s house (her pool is larger than mine). This guy’s family members are constantly trying to MAKE me not only go out but MARRY him. Why, one might ask? Simply, I am 43, post divorce 20 years and have not been in a serious relationship since 2005. Further, I am a single mom with 2 kids 17 and 19 away at university, and am a homeowner with an empty nest.

This man corners me at every family event for hours until I just excuse myself. I show him no emotions that I am interested. No flirting. I even make it impossible for him to sit next to me. He just counters and sits on the floor blocking my freedom staring at me. No conversation, nothing. I if move, he follows. He followed me to the bathroom once. He calls my sister’s house everyday to see if I am there. If I am he asks to speak to me. If I refuse, he jumps in MOMMY’S car and rushes over to force conversation. I leave. I do not return his phone calls. I do not accept his gifts.

This man has the audacity to show up at the movie theater every Friday night because he KNOWS that is where I go for family night with my boys. I have asked him to stop calling to no avail. I changed my number. I have asked him to stop the gifts of bootlegged properties but he leaves gifts at sis’s. I have done nothing to lead this man to my path. He is obsessed with photos texted to him by my sister, my brother-in-law, and his mother. I have told him those photos were not sent by me. It is awful, unwanted, unwarranted photos of me taken without my permission. Some are swimsuit shots, butt shots, shots with my back ALWAYS to the camera doing ordinary things. Some might find these photos provocative, I am fit and look much younger than I am. However, I do not pose for these photos, and I protest their submission. My relatives know that I do not like this man and this man knows that I want no further contact. Sometimes, I don’t go to the family events just to avoid him.

I do not want to get a restraining order because that would cause a family schism with the in-law set. I have face to face refused his offers. My kids have refused his expensive gifts. I am sorry his family has romanticized some relationship for him but I told him I am not the originator of the photos. I have told him that he WAS a family friend but I CHOOSE to not interact with him at all to remove any doubt that there is any implied relationship. He accused me of hiding from him. I told him I was not hiding but totally avoiding his contact because I am not interested. He was mad and still is. He still calls my sister frequently, daily just to see if “I am doing ok, and oh, by the way, is she there, if she is don’t tell her I called, don’t tell her I am coming over.”

Maybe it is not his fault that his relatives have fed him wrongly obtained information. Private information. Detailed information that could possibly make someone INFER that a relationship is possible and maybe even casually exists…. It is not MY fault. I read your publications and the comments to well posed questions. Most think the answer to my question is don’t return the calls or text. I did an in person break up to someone I was not even dating. I changed my number as well as email address. I even closed out with YouTube and facebook. I cannot ask my brother-in-law who was my brother-in-law (65) before I was born to ban his nephew anymore than I can end a relationship with my sister (65).

I do not wish to get a restraining order either. I did that option against the 25 year old son of my next door neighbor after repeatedly asking my neighbor to speak to her son about his stalking and unwanted advances from a child. Big mistake. When I found him sleeping on my deck, I called the authorities, he was arrested, making some of my neighbors mad at me. His reasoning was that he was returning some ‘important misplaced mail’ to me and that he didn’t want to get in trouble for ‘messing’ with my mailbox so he went to sleep waiting on my property for me to return. He hung himself when he told the court that I was not married and that I spent 2 hours a day by my pool in a bikini swimming and grilling on purpose. Plus, my home is surrounded by privacy fencing (You would need binoculars or a spy cam because our properties are not close together).

No, I am not looking for woe is me, yada, yada,…etc. I would like to know from a male standpoint what words would make a man understand that:

1. I do not want to ever pursue a relationship with you

2. We can not even be family friends because you would misconstrue this

3. I avoid contact with you to basically to keep you from being mad at me

4. Just because I am single does not mean I am available to anyone who is interested

No, I do not think I am all that. Yes, I do not want to hurt or make anyone mad; however, I am unhappy in trying to be nice and keep everyone else happy. So…Tell Me Like It Is (Please and Thank You). And I will work on me! – Not Interested In Him

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