Saturday, February 11, 2012

So, What's the Magical Key for Two Really, Really, Ridiculously Busy People to Be Able to Date Each Other? Hand It Over, ASAP

by Meredith Turits

And on this installment of "Meredith Injudiciously Live-Blogs Her Brand New Relationship," I'm talking about...oh, wait. I have to run. No, no, maybe I have, nope. Too busy.
Like, really. What did people do before phones and syncing and stuff? Write by hand? Perish the though
So, that's basically what my conversations with J are like while we're trying to find time to actually see each other. Watching both of us with our iPhones in our hands, flipping through our respective calendars for that golden mutual white space is actually kind of funny (you know, in that kind of funny-but-I-really-feel-bad-because-this-is-awkward-so-I'll-just-keep-nervously-laughing way).
I already told you about how insane my schedule is—which is why I ended up meeting J online, the only method for which I have time—but comparatively, J makes me look like I spend my afternoons lounging poolside with a cocktail or nine. He's finishing a Ph.D, kinda sorta curing cancer, running a company and literally going to the gym at midnight— and that's the condensed version of it.
So how are two Busy-with-a-capital-b people supposed to date? So far, J and I have just sort of let whatever works happen, which means we see each other once or twice a week. For a new relationship (or whatever this is), that's OK, but what does one do from there? I see only two options:

1. Still approach things chilled-out, and understand that the amount of time you'll be spending together ebbs and flows, and that's just the nature of the relationship.
2. Put a little more pressure on him to make sure you're consistently one of those slots in his calendar, especially if you're trying to grow the relationship.

I didn't even think number two was an option, because I'm not comfortable with putting pressure on someone to spend regimented time with me (in fact, I think that's what some guys like most about me). But last week, J mentioned how me being relaxed about our scheduling was something different for him, and that usually women have to be a bit more forceful, which he knows he needs at times.
So, hm. All of a sudden, I'm faced with a choice I didn't know I had. On one hand, leaving things be might be smart—we haven't even talked about what "what we are," plus, if we're both going to continue to be crazy-busy (we are), I should get used to this situation. On the other hand, am I short-changing our potential by not putting more of a priority on finding time for each other, despite how uncomfortable and forced it feels?
What would you do in my situation? Do you think one choice is clearly better than the other?
More on guys and dating (because who can get enough?):
6 Signs He's a Serial Dater
*3 Ways to Avoid Breaking Up Before the First Date
*Here's How To Kiss In 11 Simple Steps

Read More 
So, What's the Magical Key for Two Really, Really, Ridiculously Busy People to Be Able to Date Each Other? Hand It Over, ASAP  


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