Monday, January 30, 2012

What's the biggest problem men have when it comes to women and online dating? Communication.  Men often don't understand what women mean in their profiles and because of this, wires are crossed and messages misinterpreted.

Today's woman is very specific when it comes to what and who she wants to meet online – with the short term objective of dating and the ultimate goal of spending the rest of her life with. After all, if she just wanted a "friend with benefits" she wouldn't go to the trouble of signing up with an online dating service, painstakingly creating a profile, weeding through the hundreds of emails from prospective matches and then choosing a handful to reply to. If she just wanted a friend with benefits she'd hit the nearest bar, seduce the cutest guy there and drag him home with her.

So, what men need to understand is that if a woman, in her online dating profile, says she's looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 40, who live in for example the larger San Francisco Bay Area, have a reliable source of income and are non-smokers, she will not respond to your insistence to meet if you're a 65-year-old retiree living in Florida. And no, you're not the exception.

Men often think that when a woman doesn't respond or even blatantly says no, that means men, as the hunter-gatherers, need to try harder. Don't. You're only wasting your time. Seriously. Rather move on and sincerely responding to a woman whose profile requirements you do meet. Why? Because when you order a Jack and Lime on the rocks at the bar you don't expect the barman to bring you a Scotch and Soda with a lemon on the side, and then charge you for it. And you certainly don't except to spend $100 on a new pair of shoes, $40 on a new dress, two hours at the beauty salon and then another hour at the hair salon, all the while obsessing over finally getting a Jack and Lime only to disappointingly be served a Scotch and Soda. No matter how greatly you think you're "the one" who is the exception to her rule, let me reiterate, you're not.

When you do, however, find a profile whose requirements you meet, by all means say so. Women like to know that what they're getting is what they asked for. Would you feel comfortable if you were told to blindly drink a golden liquid if you didn't see the barman pour it from that Jack Daniels bottle? So, if you're a 30-year-old IT consultant from The City by the Bay, that's the first sentence you should lead with when replying.

You're NOT the Exception Your resource for online dating-


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