Sunday, March 4, 2012

Our sex life sucks but she's been with dozens of other guys?

SexTroubled relationships

A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

When I dated my GF, everyone told me she was a freak and I thought that was cool. I never asked her how many men she slept with. After dating and moving in with her I noticed qualities that a "loose" person would have, mainly my male friends, grabbing and getting close to other males. I thought I could be a man and show confidence in her manners. Guys would come by the house when I was home or at work. And my best friend (male) started warning me to watch out for her. But after about a year with this woman in an open conversaiton I realized she was very loose, I was stunned by the candid answers she replied with. (my age at the time was 36 she was 29) And... the question came out of my mouth... "Just how many men have you had sex with?" ...... Her reply~"About 60" I was SHOCKED!. I tried to be a man and have dated her for a total of 5 years, I am her second boyfriend. But we don't have much sex... I have been asking her for more and she replies "shes tired". I love her but cant handle not having sex. I am a loyal very good looking man, I get tons of offers but have not been unfaithful. I am at the breaking point, and probably cannot stay faithful for long. But I cannot rap my mind around her having many sex partners without a relationship and now that she is with a loyal person, she will not have sex with me... What should I do?




A female reader, chigirl Norway + , writes (4 March 2012):


Well obviously her number of sexual partners is not a pointer to how much sex she will have when in a relationship, pr after 5 years in the same relationship. She probably has also been loyal to you, so for 5 years she's managed to be with just ONE guy. There really isn't much you can say about a persons sex life based on their "number" or "statistics" of their past. How many men she slept with before bears little clue on how much sex she'll prefer later in life.


So, there is not much to wrap your head around or understand when it comes to this. Her past is irrelevant. You could have found a prude of a woman who 5 years later turned out to be crazy in bed. It goes both ways, and there's just no saying what will happen. But most relationships DO end up with less sex as the relationship grows older. After 5 years together most couples have less sex than they did when they first became a couple.


Deal with the here and now. If the relationship is not satisfying you, or making you happy and meeting your needs, consider your options.


A male reader, Code Warrior United States + , writes (4 March 2012):


If the relationship isn't working for you then break up with her and move on. It's pretty simple really.


.DearCupid







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