Monday, March 5, 2012

Women, You’re Giving Too Much In Your New Relationship And That’s Why It Doesn’t Work

By Lucy O’Brien

 Women who give too much in relationships will usually find that theirrelationships don’t work out. And this happens to many women. They givefar too much, far too early, and then wonder why it isn’t appreciated.If you’re exhausted from giving to your man, if you feel drained fromfeeling that you get little in return, read this article to find outwhy giving too much will not win a man over.

Women can be very generous and giving in relationships. Naturally agirl wants to impress her new man early on. However, giving too much isnever a good thing when you hardly know a guy. If you give too muchwithout requiring that you receive in return, he may well take yourgenerous gifts but he will know subconsciously that you undervalueyourself. He will lose respect for you early on. He may well takeadvantage but then he will probably leave.

This is because giving too much tends to come from a sense of needinessand inadequacy. If I give more, he will love me more. If I do more hewill appreciate me more. She gives because she does not want to losethe relationship that gives her purpose. She is frightened to say no tohim in case he gets upset and dumps her. Perhaps she does his laundry,lends him money and gives him gifts or sleeps with him too soon. Shemay put her own life on hold so she is always available to him andgives in to his last minute requests and demands.

Does he appreciate this? No, he does not. If she lets him walk all overher, he will not respect her and the relationship will be doomed. Hewill assume she is desperate. Or that she is easy. A man actually wantsa woman who can stand up for herself and will look out for herself,despite what he says to the contrary. This is because a man wants awoman who values herself. If you give yourself away to someone youhardly know, you do not value yourself. And if you don’t place anyvalue upon yourself then he certainly won’t. Men will value and respectyou in accordance with the value and respect that you place uponyourself.

An immature man may encourage you to be selfless, and give generouslyto him, but he will only be interested in you as long as you aregiving. As soon as you expect something in return, he will not be ableto give back. You will end up exhausted and drained. This is 1 goodreason to get to know him before you give too much!

Added to this, women who give too much in relationships are generallyincapable of receiving because they don’t feel worthy. She feelsuncomfortable if he pays for dinner or buys her gifts or helps her outin any way. She feels she should be independent and doesn’t like to askfor his help. However, a mature masculine man needs to feel needed byhis woman. He is happy to help, as long as she admires his efforts. Itis important to him to be significant. Generosity is a masculine traitand for this reason, a man will love to treat his dream girl. A womanwho knows how to receive and appreciate will bring out the best in herman and make him feel good. These are the relationships that succeed,not the ones where a woman gives too much.

Instead, her giving makes him feel smothered. He senses her needinessand he feels uncomfortable with her expectations. He wonders whenpayback time will come. Such women are giving because they wantsomething back. They want the relationship at any cost. Who the man istends to be fairly irrelevant and he knows this. Without therelationship she feels empty and void.

If you are one of these women who give too much in relationships, thenyou are not alone. Most of us have been there at some point in ourlives. Giving too much is generally an unconscious behaviour. We don’teven know we are doing it. Once you are aware of it, you can start tolook at the reasons why you do it. Realise that now is the time tostart placing a higher value on yourself so that a man will value youmore. Start learning to receive as well as to give and appreciate everylittle thing that your man does for you. This will encourage him togive more and feel good about it. If you can do this, you will havemore energy and happier relationships.

You can read more from Lucy at


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