Monday, March 26, 2012

When A Man Doesn’t Understand: How Do Women Get From A To Z?

by Slim Jackson


I’ve been trying to understand women for years. I’ve picked up a copy of Rosetta Stone, listened for hours to explanations that never quite made sense (though I nodded anyway), and read tons of comments and posts from women letting men in on how they think (Advil). I’ve learned that women love speaking in opposites (something I’ll talk about onSingle Black Male soon), love running litmus tests on men in situations where we don’t need to be tested, that good D does the body good and makes the room quiet, and that a lot of women don’t like women that aren’t their friends. Hell, some don’t even like their friends. I know because they tell me … every … f**cking … day, yet they still be at girls’ night out with a silent scowl and an Appletini talking about “giirrrrl.”

One thing I’ve really been trying to understand is how women get from A to Z when it comes to interacting with men? Like men say or do one thing with no hidden meaning and women run with it to the moon, which usually leads to an in-depth discussion about the state of the relationship or how the man really feels about her. Here’s an example:

Him: I’m going to a party this weekend.

Her: Who’ll be there?

Him: My friends and a bunch of other random people. It’s a listening party for Delante’s cousin’s struggling mixtape.

Her: You didn’t ask me if I wanted to go.

Him: I mean … nobody else is bringing boobookins and you hated that song he put on Youtube. You remember? “Balling by the Boot Straps?”

Hey: So you don’t want me there?

Him: (Genuine. Not buying time.) What?

Her: So you don’t want me to hang out with you and your friends.

Him: **Sees the situation is headed to Antarctica and provides a harmless answer** You can go.

Her: Do you want me to?

Him: It honestly doesn’t matter. It’s up to you at this point. I don’t think you’ll have a good time.

Her: You don’t want me around your friends. Are you ashamed of me?

Him: Da hell did you get there?

Her: Actions speak louder than words honey. **pouts and puts on clothes leaving him there to remain flaccid and confused**

You know where the conversation goes from there. And if you don’t, just know that it ain’t anywhere that we wanna be. But we endure it because we kinda sorta like/love you. You may be thinking “All he had to do was say he wanted her there,” but if the relationship is based on trust and honesty, we shouldn’t have to lie. We shouldn’t have to invite you to things you won’t like after you made it clear you won’t like them. We shouldn’t have to stand at A thinking of permutations of Z because you can’t handle the simplicity of the truth. Maybe I just answered my own question in some roundabout way. Hmm … **looks at text message questioning an innocuous Facebook wallpost** I gotta go.
There’s really no hidden meaning to my name being,
Slim Jackson is a Harlem-based writer and the Executive Editor for Single Black Male, a fresh male perspective blog authored by 6 writers. Follow Slim on Twitter at @slimjackson, and check him out at 


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