Saturday, April 7, 2012

How to Tell If He's Ready For A Relationship

How to Tell If He's Ready For A Relationship

By Christian Carter

Author of best-selling eBook Catch Him & Keep Him and free newsletter
Many women talk about dating a "mature man". What they're really referring to is "emotionalmaturity." An emotionally mature man is a man who won't shut you out the minute things getstressful in his life.
Emotionally mature men are willing to show their feelings; and more importantly, they're able toallow the woman in their life to "see" them even when they're going through a difficult time.
But how can you tell whether a man is emotionally mature and will stick it out with you throughthe inevitable ups and downs in every relationship?
You need to look at how he handles three key areas in his life...

Is the man able to handle adversity, criticism or even intense politics at work and remain levelheaded, relatively calm, or even compassionate?
Or is he spiteful, does he talk about problems instead of thinking about solutions and how toimprove personal dynamics in his work life and relationships?
Compassion and the ability to handle complex mental and emotional situations without coming ungluedor doing negative or harmful things to other people is one of the best signs of emotional maturity -and sensitivity as well.

What type of people does a man spend his time around?
It has been said that you can know all you need to know about a person simply by looking at the peoplein his life. A man's closest friends and peers are one of the very best windows into his mental andemotional world.
Are a man's friends people of integrity? Are they doing positive things with their lives and committedto living a good life?
And are a man's friends capable of being in mature and committed relationships? Does he have anymarried friends who have stable relationships where both partners are relatively happy and fulfilled?
Men spend most of their time with people whose values they share.

How does a man handle his relationships with his family members?
Sure, lots of people have challenging family situations, but whether or not a guy's parents are togetheris not what's really telling about him. It's more important whether or not he's on stable emotionalfooting in the way he relates to his parents.
Fighting intensely with parents, high and low emotional swings, or completely estranged situations withouta clear reason can be signs of deeper emotional turmoil that's unresolved and might mean that a man willhave trouble being there and being present and stable with you emotionally.

You can find out a great deal about a man's emotional maturity level in conversation.
All you have to do is start talking about your friends, family, and work and ask him about these threeareas in his life one at a time.
When he answers, dig a little deeper and try and get him talking about how he FEELS about these things.How does he FEEL about the people at work and his family?

Get him to talk about his friends and tell you what he likes about them and what makes them tick. You'llbe surprised by how much a man will share about who he is and how he lives his life - if you simply ask.Not only will you learn whether he has the emotional maturity it takes to make a relationship work for thelong haul, but you'll create the kind of communication that brings two people closer together...and buildsa solid foundation for the future.

There are critical moments that define your relationship with a man, from the moment you meet him all theway through commitment - and they can either break you apart or bring you even closer together. To learnhow to handle them, subscribe to Christian's free e-newsletter. He'll tell you what a man is reallythinking while he's dating you, and how you can create a solid foundation for a lasting, connected relationship.


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